Information on popular complementary and alternative medical topics

Super Marital Sex Rule: Marital partners will never be at the same stage of development together. Super marital sex depends on learning to enjoy one another’s development, both partners’ valiant struggle to adjust and to grow.

Just when I got established in my career, he wants to change his. When he first talked about women’s liberation, I knew he was getting ready to quit his job. Now he wants to work, I want to work, neither of us wants to parent. When I want to do something, he does. We just don’t match up right.

WIFE

We assume that life’s passages will be encountered by each of us in our marriages at the same time with the same ease. It just does not work out that way. There is really no such thing as a mid-life crisis, only a lifelong set of crises we are just now paying attention to. So it is with marriage. We assume that things will just “develop,” but they will not. We will enter phases of life differently, putting stresses on our marriages through our lack of understanding and tolerance of individuality.

Marriage vows sometimes say “until death do us part.” They should day something like “as we struggle together to renegotiate through the hundreds of changes we will each encounter together and separately.” Our vows of intimacy should reflect the assumption of constant change, learning a marital dance in which leader and follower are forever changing.

I tell my couples “never divorce someone you don’t know.” Many couples will not listen. They see divorce as an adjustment rather than an end. Sometimes therapists teach them that. They are wrong. Divorce often relates to marital inability to work through differences in developmental challenges, changes in readiness to parent, to work, to play, to rest, to love. Until American marriage sees that it is as cyclical as individual development, reflection, directing, and responding to our changes as people, it will tend to end “too soon” too often.

All marriages struggle with the individual differences of their partners as they go through their individual lives. You will learn that sex can be one of the best aids to carry us through differences in development. In fact, super marital sex can save marriage by teaching its partners to flourish in the changes and growth of both spouses.

We must learn to remarry a different and changing person several times during our marriage. We can choose to divorce and seek out dozens of transitional partners to match our changes, or use change to sculpt the marriage as an ever-changing artwork. Good marriages depend much more on being the right person than finding the right person. Experiencing developmental changes with someone else can be as exciting as it is difficult.

In a pre-fab, pre-developed, ready-made culture, we learn to look for pre-developed partners, already formed to match our own developmental stage at a given time. If our house is too small, we move. When we get too much stuff, we look for bigger and better places to keep it. We must also learn ways to get rid of some stuff, particularly psychological stuff, yet stay in the same house.

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There are some medical conditions which produce typical changes in the body and can be recognised at a glance. One of these is a disorder of bone known as Paget’s disease or osteitis deformans.

Sir James Paget, a London surgeon, first described the condition which bears his name in 1877. Its cause is unknown.

It is rare before the age of 40 but then increases in frequency with age. By the age of 90 at least 10 per cent who have reached this age will have developed this condition in their bones.

Any bone of the body may be affected but it is more common in the skull, in the spine, in the pelvis and the leg bones.

The bones are thickened and yet are softer than normal. And when they bear weight the leg bones may bow outwards. Bone is not a stable tissue.

New bone is continually being laid down and old bone is being continually absorbed or removed by other cells.

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With the potent and effective drugs we now have, most of the chronic disorders of mankind can be controlled, if not cured.

Yet there are large numbers of people who do not comply with their doctor’s instructions.

Surveys have shown that more than half of patients with high blood pressure and tuberculosis no longer attend their doctors a year after starting treatment. Of those who continue, less than a third take proper dosages as ordered.

Most patients who drop out are not convinced of the value of continuing. This may be partly the fault of doctors who do not explain fully the nature of an illness or the need for continued treatment. Sometimes it’s because the price the patient has to pay may be too high: not in money terms but in comfort.

Usually, high blood pressure produces no symptoms. But most drugs to control blood pressure have side-effects. It takes a convincing doctor to persuade a patient without symptoms to take a drug which may make him feel uncomfortable.

But this doesn’t fully explain why large numbers opt out and it is irrational for patients to complain that a drug failed to help them when they either didn’t take it or took it in an inadequate dose.

Many of these patients then turn to alternative therapies; they probably are just as lax in following instructions and become just as critical as they are of orthodox medicine.

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Babies under three to six months usually have protection gained from the mother if she has previously had the disease.

The rash starts on thw trunk but soon spreads to the face, the scalp and the upper parts of the limbs.

It may also involve mucous membranes and pock marks may develop in the mouth, the eyes and in the vagina.

The individual pock mark starts as a red spot which becomes raised, then a blister forms containing clear fluid. This breaks leaving a scab.

Sometimes the blister may be filled with pus.

Successive crops of pocks develop over several days or a week or two.

Chickenpox is infectious for one to two days before the onset of the rash and continues to be highly contagious until no new pock marks develop.

Sometimes the lesions develop secondary infection with bacteria and may then require treatment with antibiotics.

Occasionally, pneumonia may develop.

Another complication is encephalitis or inflammation of the brain. This may also occur with the virus infection of measles.

Shingles or herpes zoster appears to be due to reactivation of the virus lying in the tissues. It affects the sensory nerve cells in the spinal cord.

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Another problem that can arise when practitioners become preoccupied with ‘treating’ the cancer is that they may not pay enough attention to your other needs. You should expect and demand attention to your symptoms, and social and emotional problems. If you have pain, a cough, bowel or bladder problems, nausea or any other uncomfortable symptom, tell your practitioner. Whether or not the cancer itself can be controlled, the symptoms it produces can be treated separately. I’m not saying that you should expect your practitioner to completely rid you of all discomforts by the wave of a magic wand. I am saying that there are ways of reducing and dealing with many of these discomforts.

I know one symptom that many people do not expect to be controlled is pain. This is not something that everyone with cancer gets by any means, but if it does occur it can be treated. Don’t just put up with uncontrolled pain. Ways of tackling it include radiation treatment, nerve blocks and many different painkillers. Your practitioner should be prepared to persevere in finding the right dose and type of painkiller for you.

Some patients don’t think it ‘right’ to ‘trouble’ their practitioner with family, emotional, financial and other such problems. You have a right to help and support in these areas. Your practitioner will be interested if he or she is treating you as a person, and not just a cancer. Don’t hesitate to ask. If your practitioner is not approachable and sympathetic, you may have to look elsewhere. Consider your local doctor, priest, social workers (through a public hospital, local council, or community welfare) or community organisations and self-help groups.

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If you are at risk of developing osteoporosis you should start within about five years of the menopause for maximum effect, as these are the years of greatest bone loss; catch it then and your risks of a fractured hip or vertebra of the spine are greatly reduced. However, even starting much later will still give some benefit, and there are plenty of women who start after the age of 70 and still gain great benefit. There really is no time at which you are too old to start.

Much more research is needed into the effectiveness of HRT in older women, as most doctors in the UK seem reluctant to prescribe it to a woman over 65. This is a pity, as it can be of great benefit to them. The risk of developing osteoporosis and heart disease is much greater over the age of 65, so this would seem a good time of life to be taking HRT. Obviously, women with a uterus do not like the idea of returning to a monthly bleed, which may be heavy or painful, and they may also experience breast tenderness and leg cramps. An increase in sexuality can be quite disturbing after several years without it. This is balanced against an increased sense of wellbeing, less stiffness in joints and muscles, and more energy. Once again, it is a question of balancing the advantages to you against the disadvantages, and when no-bleed HRT is in general use this may greatly affect how older women feel about it.

How long you stay on HRT will depend on you, your symptoms and your long-term risks. For most women, two years is about average for hot flushes, etc, but if they return when you stop the HRT, then you will probably want to keep it on for a while longer. You may be one of those women who need HRT for five years, or even much longer, to keep flushes at bay.

For relief of vaginal dryness, vaginitis and recurrent vaginal infections, you will probably want to stay on HRT for as long as you choose to remain sexually active. Sex doesn’t have to stop in your fifties! For conditions which simply become worse as the years go by, such as incontinence,

osteoporosis and arterial disease, you may decide to stay on HRT for years, perhaps for the whole of your life. If you don’t like the idea of taking it for so long, it is thought that even five years’ treatment in the years immediately after the menopause will considerably reduce your chances of an osteoporotic fracture.

In the end, you will continue for as long as the benefits to you appear to outweigh the disadvantages or risks. Sadly, the majority of women stop taking HRT after about six months, perhaps because of side-effects, or a return of monthly periods, or because of scare stories in the media. In reality, there is no reason why most women should not be able to remain on it indefinitely. Should you develop conditions such as a coronary thrombosis, blood clotting, gallbladder disease, cancer of the breast or uterus or ovary, fiver or kidney disease, or if you have a big operation like a hip replacement, your doctor will probably advise you to stop taking it. Some doctors, however, feel HRT may safely be continued even in these circumstances, especially if coming off it might reduce your quality of life significantly more than suffering these various other diseases would. As with everything medical, in the end when you start taking HRT, and how long you remain on it, should be a joint decision made between you and your doctor.

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The research team was surprised to find how strikingly beneficial hysterectomy was for symptom relief, and concluded that ‘hysterectomy was associated with more marked improvement in symptoms and quality of life than nonsurgical therapy’. The women who had hysterectomies reported significant relief from bleeding problems, pelvic and back pain, pain during intercourse, abdominal swelling and urinary problems. Those who felt they benefited most from the surgery were those who had been most impaired by their symptoms. This impairment took the form of persistent discomfort or limitations on activity.

The study also found much lower rates of adverse effects of hysterectomy than expected. Earlier studies had reported problems with passing urine in 20-30% of women after hysterectomy, but the Maine study found this occurred in only 4%. Other studies have reported diminished sexual function in 15-30%, but although 7% of the Maine women reported being bothered by less interest in sex after their hysterectomy, only 1% reported less enjoyment of sexual activity, and the majority reported increased interest in, and enjoyment of, sex. Persistence of pelvic pain after hysterectomy has been reported to occur in 22% of women, but in Maine the figure was 5%. Importantly, 82% of women in the Maine study felt they had a choice about having the hysterectomy and, for most, six or more months elapsed between the decision to have surgery and the actual operation.

As a check on possible biases that might explain these sorts of findings, the Maine study authors looked at eligible patients who were not referred by their doctors to participate in the trial. They found that patients not in the study were more likely to feel that they had no choice about having a hysterectomy, and their mental health assessments were less positive than those of the women who had participated. It is possible that doctors selectively referred patients to the trial who were more involved in the treatment strategy and in a better state of mental health. It is also possible that improvements in surgical techniques and post-operative care are responsible for the more positive results that seem to be occurring. In the light of these uncertainties, the authors recommended that their study be repeated in other parts of the US.

Recent Australian research on the outcomes of hysterectomy has also found high levels of satisfaction among women having the operation, although this was tempered by the belief that some new symptoms had arisen which were caused by the surgery itself. Research by an Australian team from the University of Newcastle and Macquarie University, published in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology in 1991, asked women who had had a hysterectomy between two and ten years earlier to describe the impact of their experience. Of 175 women interviewed, 97% said the hysterectomy was worth the trouble and 88% said they would recommend a hysterectomy to others with similar problems, given their experience of it. The single most important benefit for 32% of the women was relief from heavy periods; for 25% it was relief from pain or painful periods; and for 4% it was improved emotional well-being.

An earlier Australian study, in which over 800 women who had had a hysterectomy (abdominal or vaginal) in New South Wales in 1976 or 1977 responded to a questionnaire, found that only about half were enthusiastic or very pleased that they had undergone the procedure. About 11% were not satisfied with the outcome of the operation and almost 12% complained of poor doctor or nurse communication. Post-operative recovery was frequently longer than expected, with 70% requiring up to three months for a return to normal activities and 16% more than six months. One impact that favourably impressed many women was sexual function, one-third indicating that this had improved after hysterectomy, while 3% reported a deterioration.

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Why do we have a biological clock? It has been suggested that, during the course of evolution, organisms have maximized their use of the environment so as to maximize their chances of survival. It has been shown that man’s efficiency varies during the 24 hour period. We perform best between 7 a.m. and 11 a.m. in the morning, and worst at 3 a.m. at night when most of us are sleeping. Hence, for man, sleep coincides with the time of lowest efficiency, which is at night. A phase map can be constructed for each bodily process within the 24 hour period. The phase map for body temperature shows that temperature is highest in the day and lowest at night. It has been suggested that the phase map of sleep coincides with the reduction of body temperature at night Dr Charles Czeisler of the Harvard Medical School claims that he can shift a person’s circadian rhythm quickly by exposing them to strong light and thus resetting the body block.

What about a natural body clock? Do we have one that is not under the influence of the sun? In one experiment, conducted in 1972, a French cave explorer, Michel Siffre, lived underground in a Texas cave for seven months, away from all noises and civilization. He was not permitted to have any watches, clocks, radios, or televisions. In other words, his external cues for time were removed completely. Under these experimental conditions, without an external time cue, the body clock was free running. After a period of days the natural body clock would emerge. It was found that under free running conditions the human body clock was about 25 hours.

However, once he returned to the natural environment, the body clock was reset to 24 hours again. This resetting of the biological dock depends on external cues, the strongest being the change from dark to light.

Experiments have also shown that if we are placed in an artificially lit day of 19 hours and an artificially dark night of 9 hours, we can be trained to live in a 28 hour clock. In this case the biological clock gradually becomes a 28 hour clock instead of a 24 hour clock, and the phase map of temperature shows a maximum once every 28 hours instead of once every 24.

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This is essential as we become more experienced in mental exercises. The aim is more complete relaxation of the mind. When we are in comfortable positions the relaxation of our mind comes largely from the feeling of bodily comfort. When we achieve this relaxation in situations of physical discomfort, the relaxation comes from the mind itself. This is what we aim to achieve.

We can practise in positions of varying discomfort according to our taste and the degree to which we have mastered the exercises. When we can do it well lying on the floor, we can try lying with a few pebbles under our back in the region of the shoulder blades. When we can do this, we are immediately aware of the much greater relaxation of our mind, and we soon notice that the relaxation remains with us for increasing periods in our everyday life.

In the sitting position we can put a small clip on the skin of our arm. We immediately relax deeply so as to avoid the feeling of discomfort. This soon passes off, and we come to feel a very complete relaxation of our mind. Young people can practise in the cross-legged, squatting position, and maintain a sufficient degree of discomfort by pulling their legs under their buttocks as the yogis do.

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What not to eat is, perhaps, even more important that what to eat when planning a program of vital nutrition.

First and foremost, white sugar and all foods made with it should be totally excluded. Ice cream, candies, sodas, pastries, cakes, cookies, pies, sugared desserts—all must go. The astronomical use of refined white sugar and sugar syrups in the American diet is, to my mind, the greatest health-destroying factor causing the deplorable health condition of the nation.

Coffee, tea, and chocolate drinks, as well as all soft drinks, should be omitted and replaced by wholesome herb drinks and fruit juices. Health food stores carry a wide assortment of delicious herb teas: peppermint, alfalfa, camomile, rose hips, mate, white clover, fenugreek, etc. There you can also acquire a vegetable and fruit juicer, which will make it possible to squeeze fresh juices in your own home.

Salt and all sharp, irritating spices, such as white pepper, mustard, black pepper, etc. must be excluded. When you get accustomed to eating fresh, raw fruits and vegetables you will soon find that they taste delectable even without any seasoning. Even steamed vegetables and baked potatoes taste excellent without salt. This is also true with whole grain breads and cereals. If seasoning for salads or cooked dishes is desired, onions, garlic, dill, sage, watercress, paprika, red chili, and many other herb flavorings will give you a wide variety of choice. Kelp, powdered or granulated, can serve as a salt substitute for a beginner. This seaweed product has a mild, salty taste and could be added to various dishes. Of course, sufferers of arthritis should use a great amount of kelp as a food supplement—it is an extremely beneficial biological therapeutic agent in arthritis.

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